May 27, 2011
If you're reading this blog post or listening to this episode, then just like us you were NOT one of the chosen. Don't feel bad, though. Nobody else was either. Yes, the Rapture predicted by suspected Pedophile and all around crackpot Hairy Camping came and went with nary a planetary tremble. The May 21st Rapture and Apocalypse was closely preceded by the untimely death of "Macho Man" Randy Savage, which led us to conclude that the Macho Man, in one last act of heroic selflessness, died so that he might Ascend to the Heavens and Droppeth the Elbow on the 6 lb. 11 oz. baby Jesus who was getting ready to throw The Tantrum to End All Tantrums on Planet Earth. We predict a religion to sprout in the near future praising the Macho Name, but we are uncomfortable with the idea of priests, during communion, placing spicy meat tubes in the mouths of believers.
The show continues after the break with Celebrity News You Need to Know! Arnold Scheewartzenegroe cheated on his wife of many years, Skeletor of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Fame. What made him fess up ten years after impregnating his housemaid? Could it be that his love child looks exactly like Conan Jr? With Mildred the Maid having kids that look exactly like their fathers, we are inspired to create a game called "Who's Mildred Banging Now"
In other Celebrity News You Need to Know Now Dammit! we sadly inform the Booblets y Borrachos that beloved former child actor Gary Coleman is still un-buried a full year after his death. What do you do with a small, black, frozen child star? Throw him on the ice for the Stanley Cup Playoffs? (Ray's joke)
In our last segment MCLG calls in (what else is new) to inform her Patron that she is forming an alliance with Mildred the Maid, the union to be called something like "Abused Mexican Maids." Zen tells a brief story about shoes hanging from telephone wires and we close out the show with shout outs to Biscuit Ray for his birthday, Randy the Macho Man for saving us all and Cousin Lawrence for bravery.